learning to let go....

Who would have ever thought 19 years would fly by so fast! It has. I became a mom for the first time 19 years ago. I tell parents of young children all the time that all the baby fussing and running around endlessly is not the toughest time you will ever go through when raising a child. It is when they reach their independence that hits home the hardest.

I remember when my son was about 2 years old. He was an active little boy. Anytime we went anywhere I was constantly following him around. He was a curious boy. He had to touch everything and figure out how things worked. He ran and ran all over the place. I never stopped him from doing so. I would let him wander around with me at a close distance to make sure he didn't get hurt or hurt anyone else. I was tired lots but I never gave up on him. I remember taking him to the beach during a cold day and placed him down in the sand. His little hands would grab at the sand as if it was a totally new feel for him. He was one of those children whose only exposure to television from birth to age 5 was PBS Kids. It was the only station I allowed him to watch. It wasn't until he was 5 that he discovered other cartoon channels and would sneak and watch them. Thankfully, what I had alredy laid out for him with PBS those first years was already instilled in him-I would joke. As a baby, I fed him all kinds of foods because I didn't want him to be a picky eater. It didn't work. He is the most picky eater I know! It's all about chicken nuggets, fruit, bread, waffles, pancakes and cereal to name a few. He is 12 now and his menu of choice still remains. It hit me one day during his summer camp that he was getting older. I dropped him off and wanted to go and talk to the camp counselor. I think he knew I was going to do so too! He walks ahead of me and then without looking at me uses his hand and says "Mom, I got it." I stopped right there and thought "ok." What did he mean "He gots it?" I wanted to say...no you don't! You are just a child! You are still my baby! How do you got it? But, I looked at him go find his place in camp and realized, yes he does got it. He found his place and knows what he needs to do.
Our jobs as moms never end in our eyes even though our children seem to think they do. We will always have a worry in our heart and their safety in our mind. We don't ever want to let go, but there come times when we need to. Even when they are small, there are times when we need to let them fall and determine how they are going to help themself get up and move on. We have to learn that in most cases, they will come to us when they really need us. This I have learned. My job as a mom is the most precious thing I cherish. I was so blessed to have my two children and will forever be grateful for this gift.